Hello Zephyr,
I understand your situation, as I've experienced similar feelings. It wasn't until I reached 50 that I recognized my low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Working with a spiritual life coach helped me overcome these issues. Don't wait as long as I did. It is the best self-care investment you can make for yourself. If you're interested, look one up or I can offer you the contact information of my coach.
Thanks for sharing, beautiful soul.
Blessings to you.